“Being Nice” is the Enemy of Leadership.

“Pamela has given valuable insight and helped my staff gain perspective in terms of managing relationships, prioritizing strategic thinking, and helping new managers gain confidence.  Pam is THE person to go to when you need assistance in growing your leadership team.  With the help of  Pamela’s proven methodology, our Leadership team was able to quickly turn high level ideas and strategies into actionable results.  Her program was key in helping us achieve our goals!”

Senior VP of Operations

When I’m sitting in a meeting, I am constantly listening to what is being said AND to what is not being said. I watch the interactions and I’m paying particular attention to the team’s ability to be direct through the conversation. Are they saying what they need to say or are they tip-toeing around issues? Are they open and receptive or defensive and guarded? Are they building a case or stating the facts? What I’ve noticed is that when people are not being at their best it’s typically because “being nice” is getting in the way.

Now, you might be thinking that “being nice” is a good thing.

Think about this, when somebody is “being nice”, they could actually be trying to avoid something: They are trying not to hurt someone’s feelings, or make someone mad, be disrespectful or alienate someone because they need something from them.

Trying to avoid hurting somebody’s feelings is not “nice”, it’s evasive.

Trying to avoid someone else being angry is not “nice”, it’s cowardly.

Trying to avoid looking disrespectful is not “nice”, it’s self serving.

Trying not to alienate someone because you need them is not “nice”, it’s manipulative.

Remember, we are talking about being in a meeting and not saying what we want or need to say. Somehow, “being nice” has crept into how we see ourselves AND has become the lie we listen to.

For some reason, we have given “being nice” a lot of credibility and it sabotages our leadership time and time again and we tell ourselves silly things like:

“It will get better.”

“It’s OK, things will work out”

“Look at how well my team gets along”

“Being nice” prevents us from being the bold, effective, influential person we desire to be because we leave the meeting without making the contribution we could have made had we not let ourselves off the hook by indulging the idea that we want to “be nice”.

Even when we are praising other people, to say that someone is “being nice” is such a vanilla, benign, lackluster compliment.

Listen to it. “Oh, they’re so nice”

Yuck, it doesn’t tell us anything except that the person giving the compliment is simply being lazy with their words.

I would assert that they are not actually “being nice”. They are being helpful, or they are being compassionate. Maybe they pay attention to details or make everyone feel included.

Whether we are trying to “be nice” ourselves or compliment someone else for “being nice”, it has no place in leadership.

Be bold

Be direct

Be kind

Be compassionate

Be humble

Be helpful

Be of service


Just don’t listen to the lie that “being nice” will get the results you are looking for in your life and in your leadership. It will not.

Here are some of the things that happen when leaders put move value on “being nice” than on being bold, direct, kind, compassionate, humble, helpful, and of service, etc…

People avoid being on your team because they aren’t being challenged to become better.

People have a hard time trusting you because you never actually say what is on your mind.

Change is slow and agonizing because there is no direct message.

Culture suffers because people are on eggshells

Growth stagnates because things aren’t being addressed

Status Quo becomes the norm

Take “nice” out of your leadership toolbox and be committed to being something that is more descriptive: Engaging, Alive, Empowering, Creative, Innovative, Inclusive, Hilarious, Fun, Vivacious, Bold, Assertive…

You and the people around you are so much better than “nice”.

If you’re NOT getting the results you need to grow your business as fast as you would like, then I would encourage you to Apply for a complimentary Harmonic Alignment Assessment.

Here’s what’s going to happen during your Harmonic Alignment Assessment: 

  • Step 1: I will diagnose where you, your team and your business are out of sync with each other.
  • Step 2: I will prescribe the recommended improvements in order to tune up your business and outperform your past in order to achieve your desired results.
  • Step 3: I will demonstrate and role play back to you a conversation on how to get your team on board with the initiative and empower them to embrace the process you will implement.

Here’s what the Harmonic Alignment Assessment will do for you… 

  • #1: Stop Losing Productivity: I will show you where, in your current business, your People, Processes, and Performance are out of sync causing you to lose productivity.
  • #2: Start Generating Momentum and Velocity:  You will learn what areas of your business require immediate attention and how to implement the solutions that provide the greatest impact.
  • #3: Accelerate Results: During our call, we will flush out hidden opportunities for achieving accelerated results by harmonizing your team.

Here’s what to do next?

Click Here To Apply Now to Schedule Your Call!   Now, as you might imagine, this is a crazy offer, and I only have a limited number of calls available per week because I’m busy training, speaking and consulting other organizations as they apply the Harmonic Performance System.

Why would we do all this for free?

Simply put, I want to show you I actually know what I’m talking about.

I call this, “Value In Advance”… and its how I create trust, credibility, and activate the correct sequence of emotional triggers in the mind of our customers to earn the right to continue the conversation.

I want you to imagine how having 100% of your team aligned, focused and engaged will allow you to accelerate and produce unprecedented results.  In fact, I’m so confident this will make a difference for you that I’d even say that once your team begins working together in concert to achieve the organizational goals,  you’ll want to hire us to help you implement the Harmonic Performance System so you can CRUSH IT in every part of the organization!

Whether you decide to have me help you on a more personal level or you decide to invest in one of my courses, what you’ll discover is that your investment will be far less than the cost of doing nothing.

In other words, it’s going to cost you way more to do nothing than it will to make an investment in you and your team’s professional development.  And the best part is that will continue to provide a return on your investment year after year as your leadership, your team and your business continue to harmonize and grow over time.

I get you may be skeptical, and that’s perfect, most of my now clients felt the same way until we had this call.  So I guess the real question is, isn’t it worth 30 minutes of time together to find out what might be possible for you?  If yes, then click the link here to schedule a no-obligation call today, I can’t wait to talk with you.

Be Brilliant and Keep Growing,

Click Here To Schedule A Call

What’s Possible For You?

You’ve seen the results I’ve produced for others.  Isn’t it time to see what’s possible for you and your company?  There is no obligation and I promise you’ll leave with actions you can take immediately from our call together.

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